If it sounds like I've forgotten all about my quest to make good on my promise to complete Final Fantasy XII, GUESS AGAIN, HATERZ.

I actually miss my old friends, Vaan and Penelo and I even miss Kytes a little (but only a little).

My intention was to haul my slimline PS2 back to Vancouver with me, but in my haste, as I did yet another photo-finish airport run (why do I continue to insist on doing this to myself? WHY?), I left the PS2 and my Memory Cards sitting in my office in NYC. Of course, genius that I am, I managed to packed the cords for the PS2, but the PS2 itself got left behind. Tech Tip: PS2 cords are useless without a PS2.

A neighbor has retrieved the Memory Cards for me; I had to explain to her what a "PS2" looked like, in addition to what a "memory card" is. She has put the cards in the mail and addressed them to me. Even as I type this, my saved games--which are, if you think about it, actual memories of actual experiences--are flying through the air towards me. w1ndstorm: They should be passing over your house NOW. Be sure to wave at them as they go by.

I consulted my RPG Sponsor, John Teti, about potentially re-starting FF XII from scratch, playing it on my PS3 (which is backwards compatible).

"Absolutely not," he advised. "You can't start over at this point."

So I wait. I sit at the window, and watch the rain fall in Vancouver.

I eat my soup, and I hope that the whole "neither wind, nor rain, nor sleet" thing applies to Canadian postal workers as well.

So it looks like I'm really going to go through with this whole FF XII thing. I kind of can't believe it. I'm not having a terrible time so far. Which is more than I can say for most games. The dialogue is uneven, but actually pretty good in spots. Though I do wonder at times why all the citizens, even the elderly ones, are wearing half shirts and tiny, sleeveless vests.

I care a little bit about Vaan and Kytes and Penelo. They're street urchins who are always scheming. They are the Little Rascals of Rabanastre. Most recently, Vaan is scheming to find a way into the Palace; and Old Dalan might have a crystal that can help him accomplish this.

I also defeated the Rogue Tomato this morning. He was a total push-over. He was a tiny dude who only came up to about my knees, with a large, red tomato on his head. I don't really even know what he was, technically speaking. He didn't seem too viscious. He was barely aggressive at all. I slapped him around, until he fell over and his corpse vanished and I was awarded some serious XP-age.

I also killed some orange wolves and some cute anthropomorphic cacti for the XP-age. (One cactus was actually sleeping! I killed him anyway. F*** him. I need XP-age! I need to be a Level Four!)

After the Rogue Tomato was dead and gone, I spotted a very large T-Rex skulking in the distance. I thought, Man, I'm only Level Three, I can't deal with that! So I ran back to the town. Later on, I told Teti about the dinosaur, and he said, "Oh yeah. That dinosaur would have torn you to pieces!"

I took this as a sign that perhaps my RPG instincts are starting to come in finally. They're still just little buds, but maybe with proper care and feeding, they can actually continue to grow, and maybe even flourish.

OH, and Vayne made his first appearance this morning. Which Vaan was very, very interested in. 

So I knew the opening cutscene would be long, and lavish, with lots of action and characters staring up at the sky with their blonde hair waving in their faces.

But man! This one was REALLY LONG. It was kind of exciting for awhile. Some airships flew over and everyone stared up at them. And then there was a war sequence which was very exciting and made me REALLY LUST FOR COMBAT. And then some Chocobos were running around, but these Chocobos looked kind of menacing, so I was OK with them.(I'm Chocobo-Averse. It says so in my eHarmony profile.)

The game opens with a slow-paced tutorial, which I appreciated, since I'm not a FF expert, or an RPG expert. It was so slow that I'm sure anyone who is either of those two things would be horribly annoyed by it. It's RPG 101 stuff. Again, I didn't mind.

The combat system is kind of cool. I open the menu, select ATTACK, then move Reks, whose wedding was interrupted by the Archadian Empire's invasion (I'm already talking in FF Speak!), next to one of the bad guys and he just goes to town on him.

Then Reks is killed.

:(

Then I'm playing as Vaan, who Teti told me later on, is Reks' little brother.

I admittedly did fall asleep once in my chair, controller in hand, during one of the extended words-on-screen digressions about the history of Rabanastre and Nabradia and well, I don't remember what else, because I was enjoying a nice dream about Cheryl Tiegs no doubt.

I confess, I'm getting glimpses of the appeal here. I've hung around a tavern where I received my first quest to find and kill a demonic creature that the locals refer to as THE ROGUE TOMATO. And I visited a weapons shop. I think it's the job of any reviewer worth his salt to occasionally step out of his comfort zone, to play games in genres that he is less familiar with, to try to understand the appeal. So far, I think I see it. Way off in the distance. Just over that next hill (or maybe it's the hill after that).

For now, I'm off to kill the Rogue Tomato. Only about 59 hours of gameplay to go... I'd better pack a lunch.